Flopping out?

As the time gets closer for my book to be published, I am facing the fear of failure. There is a possibility that my book may flop. In spite of my friends’ and families’ affirmations—they love me, after all—it might not be all that good. My publisher believed and took a risk, but there are no guarantees. I spent some time thinking and worrying about this yesterday and came up with the following: It is okay. True, it will be hard to face the embarrassment. It will hurt and sting when I read the reviews and people have nothing good to say about something I poured my heart and soul into. But I’m tough and I can take that. What I can’t face is the possibility that I might never have tried. What would be really hard is not having had this experience, no matter how public the humiliation. Life is meant to be lived with our hearts wide open, not avoided, and I truly can say that the joys of this journey outweigh any future distress. Mahatma Gandhi said: “My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay both at his feet.” The only true failure in life for me would be not to know Who to turn to when things get rough. I mean really, when all is said and done, what matters most is if this experience is making me grow and learn to be a better person, not just a writer. And I hope it is! I’ll close with a more humorous quote, not only because it’s so true, but because I love to laugh. “Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.”

Medal Meanderings

Like everyone else, I’ve been watching the Olympics this week. I’ve especially been interested in gymnastics because my daughter competed in gymnastics for years. I could relate to Aly Raisman’s parents as they clinched their teeth, hid their eyes, moved back and forth in their seats, and put a death grip on the arm rests. I did all that trying to hold my daughter on the beam or making sure she didn’t miss the high bar on a release move! I could relate to the “mom” stories as I remembered long hours spent driving to and from the gym while juggling other children and trying to maintain a happy home. My daughter had her share of wins and I had more than my share of proud moments. The point of all this is, one day she decided that there was more to life than gymnastics. She might have gotten a college scholarship, but the Olympics were out of reach. She decided there were other goals to reach besides standing on the top of a podium in a smelly gym, and she moved on, putting her whole heart into other pursuits. Now, even though she does coach gymnastics part-time, (she’s a really strict coach, which I find hilarious since she bitterly complained that her own coaches were so hard on her)her heart belongs to her family. Sometimes we have to decide that enough is enough and move on. The book of our heart, no matter how well-written, will not be published, at least not with a traditional publisher. We can find a new story, throw ourselves into it wholeheartedly, and be happy. It doesn’t make us losers if we’re not published right away or even at all. Yes, we need to be goal oriented, but not at the expense of our mental health. Marriage counselors tell us to look back and remember why we fell in love with our husbands. As writers, we need to remember falling in love with writing and let those happy memories fire our enthusiasm and our creativity. Is the gold medal of writing a publishing contract or the soaring feeling you get when a plot falls into place and you’re thrilled with your characters? You decide! I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.